As parents, we are cautious about how our children speak. We correct them, and we make sure they are aware of good manners. By directing them away from rude behavior, we ensure that they grow up into well-behaved children. But we seldom pay any attention to how we say what we say. And the impact that our way of talking has on the child is more than we can imagine.
The tone and voice you use to talk to your child are essential in building a vital parent-child relationship. Interacting in a good way is much more rewarding and has positive benefits.
Here are more things to keep in check while we communicate with our children.
Being harsh is never effective
When you speak aggressively with your child, it is doing more harm than good. Research has shown that yelling is aggressive and harmful when trying to discipline a child. Your child may listen to you, but just listening to your instructions doesn’t nurture the child’s skills to regulate the behavior themselves. Speaking nicely in any situation to your child never goes out of style. Imagine one person is imposing rules on you by yelling at you and another person explaining and communicating the situation calmly. Who would you rather listen to?
Respect the child’s individuality
Your child is a whole person. They are still growing but individuals themselves. Your child’s tantrums, upsetting behavior, and mood swings will have their reasons behind it. Before you quickly take action against it by scolding or yelling, you also deprive them of a space to open up. Wait a minute before responding. Wait until they finish, so that you can also be fully aware of the problem, which can be useful for you in talking to them or helping them in the situation more quickly.
Let them know that they are loved while you speak
When you point out a mistake to your child, it might not come across well to them. For Eg- when you say, “Don’t hit your brother,” the child might feel the need to resist it and act against it. Instead, try telling them, “I would like if you did not hit your brother, you know I love you, but next time can we talk about it when something upsets you?”
Don’t hesitate to say no, but communicate it well
Our role in guiding them through the right direction needs to be received well by the children for that dynamic to work. Communicate boundaries to them. Tell them a firm no, but also let them know why you are saying a no. Our confidence in communicating with them will also transfer to them to make them better communicators. Make sure not to leave the scene before a clear decision is taken on the topic of discussion.
How we speak with our children has a significant impact on defining their personalities. Taking the time to talk with them, rather than at them, may seem tiresome, but the long-term effect reaches far into their adulthood and into the next generations.